Okay gentlemen. This one is for you.
Funny. I had some "stuff" come up yesterday. Which triggered some inner fire. Thought I would tame it with word water. Always helps.
I will be frank here. I am going to help you out. To the best of my ability by being slightly strict or rather, straight forward with my words.
Coming from a place of experience as a woman. With intent to assist you, to assist yourself, and the world.
I am a feminist. Yes. I inspire and assist many woman in my career as a healer, and some wonderful men as well. I want to say this to all the men out there. It may assist you. Feel free to read on and please do comment.
We need you.
Perhaps 5 years ago I would never have said that so loudly and so bluntly. I myself, have open heartedly leaned to accept that men and women are VERY different. We will never "get" each other, as long as we are in this earth body. However, that is the divine purpose of our illusional duality.
To find and harness the balance of the feminine and masculine.
What do women want? I bet you want to know.
I will be straight up and simple. I will tell you the truth, because I know.
Of course this list varies from woman to woman, but hardly. So lets make this easy. I am on a mission to get this out while my hands are hot.
I have had a good amount of years doing intense research, with lovely men. Too many who have unfortunately lead themselves astray. Many I have witnessed, or known as friends or partners, have met and lost good women over and over. Usually due to being too "choked up", deeply aloof, misunderstood, or too closed off, becoming rejective to love, usually due to past hurts. Of course there are deeper reasons to all of this, that I will not go into now.
So I get it. I have been this way myself in the past, so I am compassionate.
In combination with years of observations as a "spiritual psychologist". I feel I have a lot to share from observing and participating in some of these walks of life.
So what do woman want? I will keep it down to ten things you may want to pay attention too.
Woman want a man who is manly yet balanced
Meaning: not a push over that we can walk over, not a suck or a baby that needs someone to do his laundry or a shoulder to cry on. Rather a man who knows to take care of himself who can be sensitive, and responsive to our needs. Someone "manly" enough to know how to listen but also to stand up for himself if we go too far into our reaction mode. He knows how to calm a tornado, having little desire to create them into needless drama's or dishonest games. He has his own hobbies and enjoys being healthy in life. Not clingy, but still enjoys intimacy and time together and shows this.
A man who is willing to work a bit, to help her make her dreams come true. Not with financial support or telling her how to do it, but supporting her with inspiration, motivation and emotional support when she needs it. The world gets heavy for us sometimes. You will benefit greatly from learning how to rub shoulders. Melt her. She will adore that.
This is great when it goes both ways of course.
A woman wants a man who is confident enough to make the first move. She likes a man to go out of his comfort zone in order to initiate and pursue. Trust me, a woman will soften her heart if you insist a bit more than your ego wants you to. Too may times you are so worried about being rejected, that you get all nervous and focus on all the reasons why you should not make a move.
Living in Mexico for ten years, witnessing many woman fall in love over and over with straight forward Latin men, proved to me that this works. American and Canadian woman love how honest men are with their true feelings of their outward attraction to them. Here in North America I have seen it a million times. A man is obviously checking a woman out, when she turns to notice, he looks away. Really? Let her catch you looking! Honest charm goes a long way.
Believe it or not, a woman does not always want to hear about you. About how tired you are, about what you want, how you like things, and how your so good at what ever it is that you do. This sounds harsh. Of course she cares. Confidence is great and we admire that, but arrogance is like poisen in our wine. If you want to win a woman over, ask her about what she likes, what inspires her, what motivates her. Woman love to share. It is in our nature. Like an oyster, when we are pried open a little bit we shine like a pearl. After you polish us up a bit, we will take notice on all the great things you do, by our own curiosity, instilled by the fact you care.
This is a BIG one on the scanning system radar (when we are doing what we do) Always paying close attention to your personality.
She wants you to be deep and honest, not cunning and sly. That is old school. Sorry but woman DO like to be courted, no matter what they tell you. The longer you drag that out- the more she will want you.
Trust me. If you want an easy jump in the sac kind of girl who is not stable in her womanhood- scratch that off the list, buy her a few drinks and use all the cheesy pick up lines you can muster. End of story. Horrible, but serious. A true, balanced, intelligent woman who respects herself, will in turn respect you. This type of woman longs to be romanced a little more than you think. Not cheesy, fake romance. Clever, witty, creative things. Have fun with it. Keep it light and playful.
A woman needs nurturing and intimacy before she cares about sex. Remember for most woman, the stimulation starts in her brain. Where trust gets grounded. If she knows you can assert her natural need for feeling safe. The sex will be way better anyway. Make love to her brain first, then she will want to get to know you more deeply. Put feeling into this, she will sense it.
Excuse me if I go off a bit. This is the root of most issues.
There is JUST WAY TOO MUCH of this going on.
With the new age texting, social media and cyber dating this IS a way to connect with each other. It can be good. Truly though, face to face interactions has gone WAY off the shelf for us sensi-types who like to "feel out" a person in real life. It is far too easy to "play safe" with cyber flirting, under cover accounts, and facebook flirting. Although that can be fun at first, this can also very confusing. It is far too hard to read emotion with an icon. Obviously there is way too much room to be misunderstood or misread. All kinds of chaos can manifest if it goes to far.
Take her out in real life!
Texting need not be paragraphs, just call her. Or invite her out for a milkshake.....okay 1950... turned martini. Sure, text her things throughout the day that are short & sweet. Think minimalist, she will probably like that you are thinking of her. Ask her how she is doing or say something witty and cute. Sure It is easy to say deeper things in text which may be uncomfortable to the face, we have all been there. Again, go out of your comfort zone. Save your self the time and headache of waiting for her to think it over too deeply or analyze it too much. We do that enough naturally. Let her respond from her initial point of response.
TRUST your self. It will be obvious if she is not interested. If she is still around after one or two conversations/connections than she is interested! Keep her there. How do you do that? Show up. Surprise her, be your self. Avoid playing games. She is around you because she wants to see more of you. Be deeper. Woman can sense a false energy in a heart beat, and if you keep it up, she will sense you hiding who you really are.
BE HONEST. I know this is a foreign language to many people, but if you don't know how to talk or what to say, then say that. She will love it and crack up if you just say something funny. Try something like:
"I am a man and society has taught me to be a tough ass, since I am a great learner I am very good at being a tough ass. I am not a victim to that past. I don't know how I feel, but I am also a good researcher- so I will get back to you when I know"
She will appreciate that much more than your reluctance or uncomfort. Rather than coming of as aloof or insecure, just say it how it is. If she gets offended, she is probably not for you anyway. Keep those channels wide open.
If she is healthy, she won't expect perfection. She wants you to make her laugh, she wants you to kiss her forehead when she is angry, sad, mad or happy. She wants you to work hard when you have to, but to take it easy when you need to, try to understand, without understanding. She wants to (over) talk, with out you trying to fix the situation or give any solution. When she is ranting about the worlds issues, just put your eyes on her, or your hand on her lap and that is all she needs. If that is hard for you, just smile and nod for a few seconds. Thats is all she really needs to know she is supported. Make it a discussion. Where she can come to her own concussions from getting it off her chest. If you make a mistake, know when to say sorry and make an effort to help open her back up.
Respond instead of react
We all have little temper tantrums from time to time, don't take this personal. If her inner child is having a moment, a spoiled child can not help another spoiled child.
"Be the man"
Take a breather and let her calm down. She is not lashing out at you, she is upset that the world is out of balance and just like you she is learning. We can poke each other or smooth each other. Are you a porquipine or a golden lab? She wants the dog. I promise. Trust your inner dog.
There you have it.
That is a perfect man. He is brilliant in his imperfection
He makes mistakes but he recovers them by being compassionate. Pretty please never ever yell at her. No one deserves that ever. Calm down and release your anger else where. If you do that, her trust for you will be built and become solid. If you have lost it, for what ever reason, look inward and find the true issue. This goes both ways. There is no good reason for her to yell at you either. Right ?
The truth is. Yes. We need you men. Not to live, not to survive, not to lift things or open things or to fight to change the world. You change it by being more sensitive. Be a leader!
We need you to remind us how lovable we are. So that we can love you back.
Speaking of opening things, I have never once met a woman who complains about a man opening a door, or a jar or having a glas of wine poured. You hear of this, but never see it. I know lots of women, so correct me if I am wrong.
We are all softies inside. With a bit of practise and learning to forgive the past, we can help each other into healthy, balanced, honest relationships. Which is crucial to our learning here.
We do help each other. Let me help you, to get and keep your modern goddess! Treat her that way and she will give back.
The myth on Money, looks and penis size
I just had to cover this, and make it big because I know men worry about it too much. Laugh out loud.
Of course a woman wants a man to be stable financially. That shows that he is centred in abundance thinking. A man who has his financial life in order knows how to hold it down if the world crashes. He can turn that energy, into a "no fear" based thought. His grid is activated into a mode of thinking that won't let him down. Some one like that can create food on the table no mater what. With her help of course, unless she has had a long day :) I will be honest, I do know some women who are after guys for the wrong reasons- but that never lasts and you can sense it too.
I also know that most women would rather a less financially stable guy who treats her right than a rich guy who treats her wrong. A balanced, motivated woman loves to create her own wealth anyway. Remember if you are working on your prosperity thinking, abundance can always be created with a powerful, balanced, focused team.
On looks, a good women would rather a less attractive guy who treats her right, than a guy who has all the looks hiding behind his physical ego appearance. I have seen a few barbie and ken types and they are rarely happy. Just sayin. Of course physical attraction is obviously important, but when you purchase a sexy car, you want a good motor.
As far as the penis goes. Size is not as always as important as you think. As I used to proudly wear a favourite tee shirt, that my mom rolled her eyes at. It said.
"It is not the size of the ship, it is the motion of the ocean"
A mermaid can navigate her ocean, if you tweak all your positive traits she really won't care, bedroom energy can always be learned. So don't worry so much !
Okay? Whew !
Now take a deep, slow breath, trust your self.
No woman is perfect either. So go for the woman that keeps you most interested !
A helpful note to single men and women who want to attract a healthy relationship: Make a list of ten traits- up to a hundred specifics in what you want. Be clear. Have a "NO SETTLING" policy. If he/she hits 80% of your list, you can work on the other 20% . If it is the other way around, please don't waste your time.
You will not change him/her. You will drain your energy trying.
Love yourself enough to set your bar high, and do not lower it. YOU deserve it. He deserves you too.
You do not have to marry the man/woman. Check each other out, explore, play and flirt! Every relationship serves a purpose with out pressures of society's norms. Give each other a chance. Then pay attention to your list.
Also remember to enjoy romancing your self. Become aware and whole within your self. Know that in truth, you are your own best soul mate!
Sent with great love, wrapped in cosmic bacon. (Obviously vegan style quality)
As always from a realm of passionate expression.
I enjoy working with men who are willing to open up to this new sensitive world we are harnessing. As well as couples having old stuff come up. Please feel free to book a session that will help you balance these insights in a gentle way, that works!
Keep calm and Just love.