Sacred Union, Marriage and Relationships
What is love? What is not
love? That is a BIG question we search for in life.
One truth I do claim to know,
for certain, is that we do
ALL know love.
Love is our essence.
To quote from one of my
Piglet: “How do you spell 'love'?"
Pooh: "You don't spell it... you feel it."
Love cannot be spelt, it can
only be felt.
We can talk about it until we
are green in the heart and none of the words matter. Love is simply felt. Soul
deep. Beyond words. It’s like when you sit on a beach, or anywhere at sunset, and
everyone is watching the same beauty, taking pictures as we connect to the same
feeling that requires no language.
I have given intuitive
readings to hundreds of people covering relationships; it’s a very important
topic for anyone who sits at the divine table. Over time, these insights have
given me some wonderful answers about this topic, and they have also confirmed
so many of my own beliefs about when to stay and when to go.
These days we know that
divorce is common, very common. An overwhelming percentage of marriages end
because of adultery. This trend has given us so much to question about monogamy,
commitment, trust and the words we say at the altar; we’re led to question
I have often wondered if we
are truly meant for one person forever. One lifetime is not a long time in the
truth of the infinite perspective, but within one’s life, forever is a very, very
long time! When two people meet and are
in complete alignment, it’s guaranteed that both will go through many changes
along the span of life.
At some point I personally really
wanted to believe that, yes, we are meant to fall madly in love and stick
through the hard times after the initial romance dies off. After all, this is the
happily-ever-after ending that we have been programmed to believe in.
I’ve worked on countless
cases of couples and I have seen various stories unfold, often with terrifying
endings, and few that ended peacefully. So I have to ask myself (and many times
answer that question from others), what on earth happened? Are we really meant
to be with one person?
I like to ask from the perspective
of divine truth, and since I allow myself to communicate with angelic beings I
have come to know that angels never lie. I have also come to understand so much
about the purpose of soul-mates, twin-flames, lovers, flings, flirts and far-sighted
Recently I gave a reading to
an amazing man who walked in like an angel through the door and sat, slightly
wounded, in front of me. When I say amazing, I mean someone who walked with an
honest confidence, who stood tall in humble light, with a gentle and yet strong
demeanour, all while carrying an integrity that is hard to explain. As I looked
into his soul and the questions of his soul, it was clear as day that this man
was on a mission. I see this sort of thing often in my work, as I attract many
powerful light-worker, angel types that need to be reminded of who they are and
why they have come. This man, an artist to the soul, has been working for a
bank in order support a life-style for himself and his partner, as well as for a
few members of his family. Seeing this man support a house, a marriage, a busy
career and other people, as well as several dogs to make the ride smoother, I
could see that he was carrying a lot of burden – a heavy load indeed. On top of
that, his employer asked him to pull mortgages from families about to move into
their new homes. In the midst of this turmoil, I saw a highly spiritual master
with a genuine heart and a warm and loving soul. He had a loud calling that if
I could put it into words would be God’s proverbial trumpet calling him in a completely
different direction. He was torn – he was hearing this call to some degree, yet
life was keeping him still, in a very acceptable safety net. The truth was that
he was doing some undercover work in the bank. Although he felt terrible and
overly responsible for being the bearer of bad news, what I could clearly see
was that this was also a divine assignment. He was gentle and wise, and
therefore able to usher a peaceful message along with such bad news as the loss
of a material safety that so many of us count on to feel safe and grounded -
the home. Feeling the pull between being in service in an institution, and
hearing the call of the mystic healer puts you at a choice point; society and
partners do not always accept this choice.
The point of this blog is
that I write from a perspective with divine response, and have an answer that many
of you may be seeking. So, when is love meant to be endured, and when is a
relationship meant to end?
Obviously this cannot be
answered in a general sense since every single person is completely unique - as
is every single relationship. Each situation presents a completely different
set of stories as a sequence of life incidents; this makes up a reality of
patterning that contributes to the unique scenario.
Recently, for example, I saw
a couple that most people would call the Angelina-Brad combo that many aspire
to emulate - a couple constantly under high pressure within the public eye bombarded
by the press and paparazzi. Under pressured circumstances that can be extremely
hard to maintain, they endure a mass of opinions, truths and constant viewing. But,
they represent a relationship where both parties seem to be able to
continuously support each other and get through the tough times, holding each other
strong no matter what. The couple that I saw for a simple tune-up is a shining
version of what I consider a union that many people dream about. They have
worked at it. Both of them have come from broken homes involving alcohol addictions
combined with abuse and heavy loads of responsibility. They have come together
as young adults, supporting each other, committed, and have risen above and
beyond. Independently and together, they have created enough healing and mutual
counseling to re-evaluate life’s importance. They have both found strength in
forgiveness and soul work, and have created releases by changing their patterns
of behaviour. Now in a very loving union, the couple has created a wonderful
family unit with two sensitive, loving children - children raised by a team
working with one another in equal support and respecting their mutual gifts and
talents. Nothing is perfect, but this would be the closest I have seen. This is
what I refer to as a real, sacred union.
So why are there so many
broken, unhealthy, non-supportive, co-dependent, relationships? How do you know
when to stay and when to walk? Let’s simplify and get clear.
First and foremost I will tell you that no relationship is in any way divine or sacred when any of the
three A’s are present. These are ALL deal breakers no matter what:
Abuse, Adultery and Addictions.
This needs no explanation but
to keep it clear and simple lets cover the basics and get straight to the
ANYONE is abusing you in any way, including physical abuse, mental abuse or
verbal abuse, this is NOT okay. No one
ever deserves this and when we allow it, nobody wins. It is not okay to permit
this and it is not justifiable - ever.
you have made a vow to be committed to someone, you create an energy of trust
that becomes the strength of the union. Of course you will, at some point, feel
attracted to other people – this is human nature. If you are in a committed
relationship without a verbal agreement of being in an open relationship, and if
your partner is cheating on you, this is a very valid reason to walk. When it
is a secret, this energy will break even if the other person finds out or not.
Things will eventually fall apart. I have seen this many times. Dishonest
energy is a deal breaker - every time. If you can stick it out and bond again, becoming
even stronger, then good for you, but usually, once a cheater - always a
cheater. And trust, we know, is crucial.
truth is that when someone has an addiction to an altering substance or a defeating
habit there is a great potential for filling relationship holes with poisonous
glue. When addiction is affecting communication, or drowning out the severity
of any issue, the band-aid will eventually be ripped off, and it is going to
hurt. This is a guarantee that will
repeat itself over and over.
Sadly, a good percentage of
these issues are present in most relationships. Think about it, it’s true. Often
partners support each other’s weaknesses by allowing these behaviours to
continue, or on the other hand, enable the addiction by becoming stuck in
co-dependency by feeding an unbalanced need. This happens in two ways:
by finding reason, repetitively.
Trying to work
through them over and over, often settling for something unhealthy because it
becomes comfortable and safe - expected and endured. Doing the same thing and
expecting different results is habitual, and they say is insane. So tap into
your sanity, which is inevitably more powerful; no more expectations of a
Let me make this very clear,
these are not signs of strength, but signs of imbalance.
The angels affirm this
loudly: the truth is, that over and over, when someone is being hurt by abuse,
or is being betrayed by adultery, or is being weakened by addictions, THERE IS
NO EXCUSE. This is NOT okay and there is no reason to endure this pain-filled
drama and suffering. When you are allowing this it is not sacred or divine, and
it is not love. You may be seeing
the truth, which is the potential for great love, but at a time when one or
both partners are not in alignment with this truth. This situation is actually
an imbalance that you are permitting because something is amiss with in your
own self-projection and within your own self-love. No one can heal this but
you. You may need help of course, but you have to initiate the change by saying
yes to balance and no to abuse, and by taking the action steps required to get
out of it. You need to heal your own patterns of behaviour by no longer
allowing something that is harming your soul and your spirit.
If someone is causing you
suffering, intentionally or not, it is because they are overflowing with
suffering, and they need help. It is not necessarily your job to be that
person. You choose to allow them to keep you in suffering or you teach them
that it is not okay. Then it is up to them to prove by means of action that
that is no longer their intention.
Personally speaking, I do
agree that every single relationship is a teacher of lessons we need to learn
and that even the strongest person can get caught up in something unhealthy.
Many loving souls end up trying to “save” someone by seeing the true light that
they are and jumping into the tornado of addictive, abusive tendencies to show
someone the way out. The thing is that this only leads to two possible
changes slightly and you no longer feel needed so you end up feeling abandoned.
Your job is over, so you repeat the cycle of “fixing” only to end up drained,
tired and hopeless.
becomes dependent on you to continuously be loving, insightful and full of
love, and selfishly continues the pattern as you sit hopeful that one day, magically
this person will see the light and give you back a portion of what you offer.
If this sounds familiar
please give yourself a very strong shake of the head - see the deep truth. You
are not helping yourself, or the person you claim to love by allowing them to
play small. You are actually hurting yourself in the process and setting
yourself up for major disappointment. If this person continues these patterns,
essentially you are beating your head against the same brick wall. Consider a
twelve-step program and get your self some worthy help. The minute you commit
to yourself and take action on changing your patterns the universe will support
you fully by showing you better options. I promise.
Since we are cutting to the
chase here, this cycle goes back to one thing: you need to reclaim your power
as an individual who needs to be honoured, respected and worthy of a
relationship that holds you in your own potential; you need to seek the healing
needed from childhood trauma and do the uncomfortable work; give yourself the
power and the permission to heal the broken parts of you so that when someone
amazing comes through the door, you can identify it and let yourself receive
sacred love, rather then create self-sabotage by pushing good people out.
I wanted to make those three
situations clear because they are far too common, and while we continue to
allow them, the world will stay broken. You have a responsibility to yourself
to honour something healthy, supportive and playful in life. Do you agree?
Now I am also going to speak
of something that I have learned is another great and justifiable reason to end
a relationship. This one seems harder for some reason because sometimes there
is lots of love, with none of the three A’s interfering at all. I am also
seeing this happen quite often these days and this is another issue I really wanted
to write about.
You can feel a lot of love
for someone, but human love is not always “enough.”
We are passing through some
major changes on this planet and coming into something that has been talked
about for ages. There are souls being called, alright. I know, because I was
one of them. I heard the call, and I answered. A small part of this call was
typing this blog. I am going to continue this discussion on what I am calling “Spiritual
What is this?
This is what is happening on
many levels when one of the two partners is feeling the call or hearing the
trumpet and being asked by spirit to step up into bigger shoes - just as I described
earlier with the man at the bank.
When one person feels
responsible for holding up the relationship, there is a lot of responsibility
and fear that comes with being the “support beam.” Holding the base in the
ground and the head and arms on the roof is a lot of weight. When the trumpet
calls you in a totally different direction, and you walk away, the beam without
support points to something crumbling.
From a personal perspective I
get this: I walked from stability, or from an illusion of stability, to follow
my heart and I did have to let things crumble. So, in identifying with many
people hearing this call, I know it is tough. Can you hear the call and stay? Or
do you need to go? I know that the soul cannot be ignored. That is what causes
ALL imbalances and ALL illness.
(Truth note: this is also
caused by our poisoned food and water supply, but I won’t get started on that
Now, with so many spiritual
light-workers needed right now, the alarm bells are going off – loudly! We have
been given this gift to hold immense amounts of love, compassion, understanding
and energy. We have also been given assignments to share that love with many, many
people. Not all partners can handle this. People that are not evolved in higher thinking
tend to pull us down and keep us stuck, by sucking out whatever they can - like
a spider catching a butterfly, it’s natural, but doesn’t always seem fair.
So this is where the one
being called has to get very quiet and listen.
Do you know that a huge number
of the planet’s population are light workers? And that many are groggy, tired
and sleeping behind desks of security and systematical paper work?
This is also where one has to
come to terms with the mission. You will have to ask yourself about this, and
eventually be very honest with your partner and see if they are able to support
you in encouraging you to go forward, thereby amplifying your gifts on offer to
the world. Sometimes I see the other person so fearful of seeing their partner
as their beam of light that they are energetically held by them there. This is
where the beam MUST become a walking lighthouse. If the other person insists on
staying stuck, guess who is going to feel the pain? Surely both, but mostly the
one who is ignoring the call.
When in a union of marriage,
when your soul calls for expansion, if your partner does not hold you in your
highest potential then the relationship has served its purpose; it is no longer
sacred. Although all relationships are sacred in truthful essence, a thriving
sacred union supports both parties through all cycles of growth, and each
partner needs to be able and willing to fill the tank when it is empty. As well,
a sacred union says, “Go. Love. Create. Live. Accomplish. Do it with me, or do
it without me if you must. I cannot keep you here chained, holding up walls and
floors. Go, and be the love that you need to be.” A soul knows that in truth we
cannot hold someone stagnant. Ego will be possessive, hurt, angry, and even jealous.
Because spirit knows that
love is infinite when coming from a higher perspective, this act of separation can
be done peacefully, and in harmony and understanding. More often than not we
are meant to cross paths, and then to come to a crossroads, or see the fork in
the road ahead. We are here to spoon out some happiness and remind each other
who we truly are. It is okay to walk separate ways so that each one can truly
manifest what they really want - often very different things.
The vows were said in the
moment, and at that time it was true. In no way is it a violation of any divine
law to break these vows. It is simply a truth that the soul needs to honour.
Now… go be the light if you
must, and set the person free who needs to go and be.
Walls will crumble and it
will not be easy.
But it will be worth it.
Because no matter what, the soul always knows.
Hear the call and walk
towards it. Have gratitude for the path behind you, and be propelled with
excitement for the mystery in front of you.
“Since I cannot be free with you,I must then be free
without you. After all, there is no separation. Simply an ending of what has for
so long been. Until we meet again”
The one that holds you in the sky
in golden light
who hears your voice wrapped in gentle wind
listening to messages sent by your heart
The one that plays back your notes
is harmonic sequence,who knows your strength without fear or intimidation
who strengthens your weaknesses by seeing them as strengths
Who puts a hand on your fragile heart
when out of synch reminds you of your own beats
Who walks with you even when you can not see
That is what we wish for you
* * *
Needing a romance reading? Perhaps you need to release an old vow, a contract or, maybe a wisp of some divine breath to assist you in blowing out the match?
Your own soul is always calling in a sacred union, and your angels are with you to help you to release and receive. Time now, to let the tie come undone.
What is emptied can only be filled.