The final fantasy
Written from the vortex.
I wake up wrapped, comfortably surrounded is softness of refined eucalyptus, a beam of sunshine in my face. Freshly remembering a dream. He was there again, which always seems to happen when cyber communications go hay-wire, once monotony drives me off the wall, my higher self guides me through your consciousness. Somewhere in that space, dreams make more sense than in reality, here you express your fears and also your truth. A fascination beyond fantasy that seems to deeply assist me, in the stages of waking up to repetitively find the peace that I always know. Yet still, after awakening, a floating anchor in my stomach can rattle the stress receptors, as I watch two highly productive people spend too many hours in bed, as if staring at each other through a screen that has no feeling. I chose not to watch any reality show's today, because the stage is not real. The dream is. When a situation in your life is taking over your ability to think and to see straight, and you have demonstrated that you are in fact a mess, it is because you have not chosen to detach from a situation created in your mind.
One. Simple. Reason.
You are still allowing your habitual pattern to control your reality.
I remember being a teenager in a romanticized phase I went through, at the time, I was reading way too many romance novels and a certain someone was often the fantasy of this adult world. I loved the details as irony weaved through story's of love's portrayal. More than often, circumstances of two people convinced they could not possibly be together, always some scenario to such plot's. Reason standing in standing in the way; different belief systems, opposing life styles, fear of public recognition, secrets, betrayal, highlighted emotion, and all the earthy goo that creates substance for books and movies. I usually skipped through a big part of certain scenes, because my fantasy went straight to the juicy section. The best part of course, was the a climax of two terrified people coming together, wildly tearing off their clothes, as hot intensity created detailed descriptions, beads of sweat that fired a sensual energy inside.Stimulating the imagination as if it were really happening. As the reader, you too suddenly become part of a threesome, a love triangle created in imaginations bed, making passionate love, with two characters created by an author.
Romance, the novel
Then we see a plethora of cyber relationships all over the web. Games that make millions of dollars a year, as people create their fantasy avatars in clandestine. Fantasy is a funny thing, you can loose yourself in it if you don't gain a balance of control. This is not right or wrong, it is part of defining reality, but even as a teenager, I was aware that reading such garbage was not an ideal picture of how life really was. The phase passed quite quickly as I realized that, although I enjoyed turning off the world for a minute, getting lost in a place where I could day dream, I knew better that there was in-fact a world out there. A world where I could kiss real boys, even in my nervous flirtations and insecurities. I started reading other material that was more interesting, and somewhere along that line became absorbed in my attempt to figure out human existence.
Fact or fiction
The sexual centres in our bodies are of the most profound communicators we have, not everyone remembers this in a world where we are overwhelmed by music videos, drama series, reality shows, radio stations, billboards, photographs, shopping malls, and busy work environments. Stimulus is usually over active in the higher energy centres like the head and shoulders, this is where most people tend to function from, so what happens as we try to think our way through life, is that these centres become weak.
The lower chakras in our body dominate feelings of safety, security, personal power, creativity, and sexuality, these areas tend to suffer greatly when not balanced. Sure we can choose to have an active sex life, which does improve our quality of life on a grand scale. Sex keeps the wheels turning, because sexual union is like watering a growing tree, not just any tree. The sacred opening of clenching muscles, shared within a physical union with the self or a partner, as an erotic hard pulse creates a bold pleasure, creating a release that even a really good romance author cannot fully describe. Taboo? Hardly.
Sexual drive is one thing that assists a healthy flow of energy in the human makeup, just like taking action on fantasy's, creating confidence through work related endeavours, exercising, stretching, creating art, dance, and writing are all a healthy way of creatively expressing. All of these activities are required to fuel wellness, in maintaining healthy physicality. Owning your personal power becomes crucial, where boundaries are defined and decisions are made, where fantasy's are acted upon, this creates a strong solar plexus where you create from a place of joy, fulfilment and happiness. When the stomach becomes nervous, and creates butterflies there are many reasons, when the sensation is overridden with fear, this is because these lower centres are not in balance.
A wisdom perfectly designed in a body, which communicate on an invisible level and often become scrambled, resembling a ball of spider webs in front of the body, provoking life force from entering. A block which creates a very weak energy in the base of the spine, and this is where the term "No balls" comes from. Hilarious to some degree, but it is true. When the root chakra is weekend, what happens is there is a huge leak created, that sieves out confidence, security, energy that creates a sense of social safety. This in turn, creates a very strong feeling that life has got you trapped. It becomes difficult to sense the will to live, you could easily feel that you are a mess, and that you don't have the drive to get out of bed at all.
I have been there before, and I am glad that I was able to re-program myself out of this place, of having no balls and being stuck, drained, sieved, and highly confused. I went to Hawaii and sat within energy of earths force, feeling life in volcanos, lava, creating new land as I floated daily in a giant salt bath of waves and moon cycles. I took as long as I needed to recalibrate, I did some personal work. I did not require a man for this thank-you very much. Although I must say the sensual energy in Maui is quite extravagant.
Back to balance
When these primal energy centres are not active, we seek to purchase things uncontrollably, or create things from a place of seeking approval, we dominate others, consciously or subconsciously, communication becomes difficult as well, because the body is out of whack energetically and becomes so physically. When a situation like this happens, the body does not shut down properly when it requires sleep. This leak in the lower energy is the sexual, creative life force centres which, when out of balance, dominates or blocks the flow to the heart, throat, and inherent psychic vision which is our ultimate connection to peace, balanced love, clear seeing and clear expression. If you can't seem to balance down under, then you sure as hell will not be able to bring in the light force, which enables actions that are based in love, compassion, understanding and receptivity.
In a cyber based relationship, not all centres are activated. On the contrary, as computer frequencies have an output which is quite opposite to our own human make up, running on a much slower energy than we do. Because you mind is stimulated, your brain receptors go into a fantasy state and creates an illusion of stories which stimulate the emotions based on actual feelings which resonate to a truth somewhere within you. A psychic connection is established, and even a heart connection, the brain produces all the fancy cocktails of chemicals which trigger the body into response. Because we are humans with a sense, and need for human touch, understanding, compassion and energetic exchange, the frequency of the energy body automatically reaches out and becomes drained when the physical need is not fulfilled. This is one reason why some people get upset when no one likes their status. Or why you feel a sense of sadness when you see a tortured dolphin.You can see how easy it would be then for people to become addicted to cyber romance, to Facebook, to YouTube or another online forum of social media. Social media is hardly social. We seek information for a sense of understanding and connection, although a portion of this can be found there, not all needs are fulfilled. Just as looking up a new word in a dictionary can give you understanding, you may or may not comprehend the meaning, this does not mean you always use big words either, because your audience may not understand them. Romance novels are written at a certain level for a very good reason. What means one thing for you could mean something completely different to someone else. And everyone loves a good romance novel.
Here, is where technology becomes a vulnerable type of tool. The physical self is searching to dance with all the rest of what is taking place on an emotional level, but it is not satisfied. Are we forgetting how to be human? Snooping on someone's profile as they give you permission to do so is one thing, but cyber stalking? Interwoven romance gone bad? Where is the invasion and where is the privacy? Invasion. Although a cyber world serves a major purpose to connect people, there is a fine line where a fantasy eventually has to end, because it will shut you down in ways that can be very hard to recalibrate.
I have seen this happen, and I have experienced it hands on. Key pad in action. So how do you draw the line? Sometimes with a jiffy marker, or sometimes you smash a plate. You know what they say, practice makes perfect. Even when some people have no clue of how to draw a line, instead they make gravy out of it, looks pretty but who know how it tastes as it spills all over the plate. So where gravy becomes a little too salty and stacks of emotion want to topple over whipped potato's, we have to examine a balance somewhere between cyber non-sense and a sense of physical grounding.
Sex and fantasy
As we know, sex is always available. Sadly, we have lost the sacred essence of sexuality, because that too has become out of balance for a good portion of humanity. Being sensual is perhaps connected to the act of sex, but is not always the be all and end all of sexual pleasure. A woman can be highly sensual without being sexual because her energy becomes harnessed, which in turn creates a powerful life force that she can choose to share at any given time as she feels respected, loved, nurtured and admired. Naturally, a release takes place and a new cycle begins automatically where this energy is built back up. Men have a similar, but different energy with sex, where built up tension is stored which transmutes as the opposing feminine energy, one is give and one is take, perhaps why one design is inward and one design in outward. If you get my drift.
Many men and women do not respect this primal energy as a virtuous space, and give it away quite easily, other times, men abuse this space, and depending on the situation, the woman does or does not consent. This primal power can be manipulated when rape victims, or child abuse victims are exposed to a non-consensual taking of power, a damage is done that is hard to repair. Energetically, part of the self is lost, and hard to find, so domination and the need to control circumstance becomes the zone of safety. On one less damaging, but equally destructive search for personal power, we seek it and give it away all the time. I have many friends and clients who come to me feeling tired, used and abused and not even knowing why. Then I see all the energy chords they have attached to their sexual centres, the result of having frivolous affairs with men who are also seeking a quick need to fuel the emptiness. Usually created by the "no balls" scenario, or the more common is a sad truth, a victim is trying to regain control. Sure, with healthy sex exchange there is a physical and/or mental and/or intellectual attraction, in a fabulous and potentially rare scenario, you find all three. If there were no elements of attraction then people would not have sex, or would they? Perhaps again, I have to ask, are we forgetting to be human?
I can't speak for every woman, or every man, but I do know that we all have the same system as far as a physical makeup and even similar energy body's, even though each one is completely unique to some degree. I do not judge anyone's choices, although I am fascinated by observing them. I recommend to all woman, to know your body's well, and to realize there is a very sacred and powerful exchange of energy that takes place when two people become physical. Also remember that you have an inner goddess, an archetypal beauty with wise eyes, who protects those door ways, and when she is in the mood, watch out! When she is not, it will take a lot to let someone in. If there are major trust issues, or a fear of being sexually used, triggered by a memory of being abused, then recalibrating your sexual centre will be required. This goddess will need a whole lot of coaxing to let someone in.
If you are a man you may find that some women are open and trusting, more than others and there is a good reason for that, depending on the attraction and relationship you have established with them. With others, it might take you a lot to get in. Do you follow? If I can give women some unsolicited advice I would suggest the importance of understanding your role as a transmuter of divine energy. Harness your power, without manipulating sexuality as if you are some Hollywood sex icon, and know when to unleash the expression of your sacred self. Find a release if you need one, but remember how attuned you are to your emotions and that you are vulnerable to attaching energetically to some one. This is why people get jealous and crazy when no one actually belongs to anyone. Sexual dominance is a whole book altogether.
Very few woman have the man switch, the switch that can detach from the emotions and just have sex with no meaning. This is because woman are naturally more psychic and can feel the exchange of energy that happens. They also receive something that is released, not just on a physical level.Watching this exchange energetically is quite phenomenal, and I can tell you that we are all designed to have amazing sex. We have just forgotten the way to do it. Watch any music video and you can see how woman have taken back the power to express sexual power, but at the same token are we going just a little overboard when it becomes something manipulative? What are we selling? Talent?
Just like in the romance novels, there is always a build up to the climax, then a fall, then a climax then a fall. That is the erotica that is quite sexy, steamy, wild, even animalistic. Eventually there needs to be an orgasam, or no one would buy the books. It's mother natures way, just like we see in nature, humans act the same way. All the rivers freeze up, then chunks of ice stop the flow, anyone who has ever been in a committed relationship totally gets that, as does any single woman, when she has found herself in a dry zone.The volcano rumbles so long then eventually explodes, sometimes sex is an outlet and other times creative expression.
We know that moods are highly connected to sex and the desire for it, much more so in woman, as we are generally much more in touch with our body's. Both emotions, and emotional triggers have a high connection to sexual expression, which is why the 'vagina goddess' gets tight lipped and closes the wooden door when her partner has pissed her off. Am I right or am I right? I guess I am right. When there is a lack of flow in communication, most woman seek a night out with friend instead, where they can talk about it for hours. Eventually, the sun comes out again and all the hard, cold ice melts, the volcano erupts and heats up like boiling-over water. The river starts to flow again and sex goes on. The doors open, bliss is born and everyone is happy! YEY!
In a world full of media, which tends to design our own confidence, based on perfect boobs that float up to the chin, perfectly painted toes, hairless, airbrushed skin, boxed hair colour and long legs that are captured on a camera to identify sensuality, we have began to doubt ourselves as well as natural beauty. Imperfect. Men are made to look like they have to be Calvin Klein models and to wear a watch that screams in a voiceless bling filled message. "I have money, so there for I am sexually confident" and they figure with a simple wink they can get you in bed. As a clenched jaw line reveals how actually terrified he is inside. I will not profess this doesn't work on some woman, but do you honestly think a watch and a wink is what gets a woman in bed with you? Maybe if she is 23. A balanced woman is a harder catch, because she has learned that sensuality is actually sacred. She also knows that she could throw on any short skirt and put on a Victoria secret push-up bra, a little splash of perfume some sexy red stilettos, and go stand at a bar and do nothing but wait. The one with the most confidence wins, or she can choose to have a little more fun with it, and seduce any guy in a short or long, kinda heart beat. She could take and give what she wants, in a one night stand and walk away in the morning. Although likely her emotions would not be filled, and so then she has become a feminine version of an imbalanced male, using her sexual organs to get what she wants, to identify her sexiness or false sense of self worth. Fascinating none the less.
Nobody is a perfect ten.
Reality hits hard. Pun possibly intended.
Does this sound like a clear description of an unbalanced culture to you?
Where we are falling in love with robots,or the fantasy and not actually a person? Where we are reaching out, only to re-play an illusion looking back at us, like a video game in disguise. At the hit of a button, someone thinks they are controlling you and it easily could look like that. As the mad man behind the screen determines which Go-go gadget gizmo to use, as he sends his secret agent on a mission, a mission that leads to the same old story. No-where. MISSION NOT ACCEPTED. Perhaps the sad story is actualy that the one who is confused and controlling is somewhat lost and out of control, in trying to process what is real and what is make-believe. In a ball-less state, sitting in a frozen castle, obsessively composing a million masks of the broken psyche. An endless drama series, a combination of blood sucking vampire trilogies, belting opera's of phantom ghosts, hours upon hours of ridiculous re-plays, some, highly intelligent copies of real emotion, where a beautiful mind has been torn into pieces, and somehow trying to make it all funny.
I suppose you will have to step back for a second and try to find some inner peace and clarity. Get balanced, it might take some time. Ask your self what it is that you are really looking for. Admiration? Personal connection? Real love? Acceptance? Approval? Self gratification? Sexual balance? Confidence? Identity? Then you will have to ask what fear is controlling this desolate existence? What are you scarred of? Being revealed? What is that what you really want? Someone to reach out as you cry for help? Then someone comes to give it, as you continue to sabotage any potential reality by staying stuck in a pattern that is clearly defeating your very own sense of self.
Surely you feel a sense of intense craze as your castle crumbles. That is a good thing. It shows that you actually do have a heart and feelings. You are not just a heartless tin-man or a cowardly lion. You built it, surely you have the tools to dismantle it. But do you want to? Perhaps here, in this therapy room,you feel safe. Eventually you decide if the price you paid was worth it. Then realize that maybe the disguised ordeal was a god-send. In disguise. How ironic. Now you decide, change the picture, take what you have gained and call it quits. See your self as healed and get out before you create more drama.
The truth is, every intention started innocently, with a seed of truth. A connection, an actual interest, so you created a safe place to express. Where ego's became the leaders and fear became the destroyer, reality has hit the fan and hopefully you discovered that yes, this habbit is in fact a problem. The truth is that no one can pull you out of it, because no one is watching and no one actually cares. Once in a while someone who actually cares, pops in to see how you are doing, someone who has learned the importance of detaching, and someone who can. That this perhaps was a fun forum at one time, to unveil some pain, sadness, and inner suffering, in a place of silence where some truth was brought to the table, some laughs and some disbelief. Where faithlessness was turned to faith, in one persons self written fantasy, where a potential in the real world existed.
You cannot build a new house on a foundation built of secrets. It is a mission impossible.
Ain't no sunshine when she is gone? Is that true? To some degree yes.When she is no longer there, you choose then to continue sitting in the broken castle in attempt to fix broken walls, but guess what you can't, and you don't need to. Her own castle is already rebuilt, and it is not about you. Perhaps your composure or keen observation has provided a different view, but that is all. Now you sit alone, feeling like a mess only because you choose it. The truth is that the fantasy is always better on the screen, that is why it is coined as entertainment. The reality? Is not about perfect bubble boobs, or stars on a stage, with lights and voices, judges and game controllers. The reality is that someone is human, sitting on the other side, with a hand reaching out asking you to take it, if even just for a second to help you stop the craze. Knowing well that you see yourself stuck in this castle, but you are building the maze, the reality is that you aren't stuck there. Fear of evolution keeps you there, fear that everyone will know, people will find out. Who? Who do you figure is really watching? As you see now, no one is. Everyone else is too busy living. You are special, but not that special. Because that my love is the only truth filled reality. Reality. Real. World. Living the dream.
My fantasy? Is that I will see you there.
But contribute to your show? I have been tired here for too long. The fantasy could go on for a life time, or stay frozen in moving time, so stay there if you want. I am sure I will speak to you in many ways, because there are many connections, but I claim my right to do so, wide in the open, with a name that is my own. And by the way I am not always talking to you! Indecent Exposure? If I wanted to ruin you, first of all I couldn't, second option, I would have no reason to ever try, because inside, I know that you are whole and perfect. I do not destroy unless I have to. Like a volcano I create a new reality, sometimes in a real world type of fantasy. You, are a character in my story, but the chapter has already been written. The book is now closed. The sequal of the next one is entirely up to you, you just have to get some balls. It is not up to me to tell you another thing about your self. I am officially quitting that job. I quit!
As we know the divine, angelic assignment was completed a long time ago, and my over time is over due. Inside you have all of your own solutions. My own solution is actually very simple, and it terrify's me the same, and you can trust me when I say that. As you can see I am doing my very best to keep calm here. Only you will know if and when you are ready, and if never, than that is okay. Be free! If I can do anything good for you now, it is to say all of this. Mostly to conclude, that I will not enable the past. I have nothing left to watch, and nothing more I need to hear or see from you on a screen. I have seen enough to know that even though you need some work, we all do, I still insist that I would like to muse with reality, but only in an actual reality where I do not care which type of watch you wear. Detached to any outcome.
Rare? Yes. I am.
Just like you.
But excuse me! I have a world to create. So hear me loud and clear, I do not have time to waste and either do you. Your Tube? Seems that is your safe place right now, only if you choose.
On this channel of hidden demise are pages of empty secrets that no longer entertain, and no one is feeling good. Mr. Buble or Mr. Bond, it has been quite a show. If attention is what you need, I will send everyone there, so that as this true story unfolds, you will have a place state your defence. Your side is surely different than mine. If you choose to stay in disguise, that is up to you. Of course as an author of my own truth, this will not be a story written in fiction. The story will be one of truth, exactly how it was, no apples dipped in sugar, except for the ones I made. To me, it is not a horror show, but one of a reconnected love, we needed a platform and an iron that could produce enough steam, to flatten out many lifetimes of hurt and pain, love and loss and even a final tragedy. A place where I could find you again, in what ever way I could. It has been a very long road to find you, now you have to find yourself.
No one ever needed to know who you are, although you are important in this book of life, no one will know, and even if they did, who cares? I do respect that you do. Remember though, that you are fully human, and stupidly charming, fresh and slightly bruised, just like the rest of us. When you get squeezed your just a bitter-sweet orange acting like a melon.
Well, my shirt is looking pretty pressed right now so then I am finally polished and dressed. More than ready to walk of the set. Yet fully naked standing here, not caring who can see.
Like a buzzing creature creating layers of honey, forgetting about the bee. Life is not always sweet, and a bee dies when it stings. No one here is dead yet. If you know what I mean.
And if you would like a real interview, I am open. I do actually have balls, I wear them on my chest, sometimes I show a bit of cleavage since I have more than the rest. They are not full of silicone because nothing about me is fake. If you want me to make the call, I will. Just say the word, spiced chicken, I will make. Everyone is paranoid about something. it is not about the breasts.
Here is your life back.
Relax and make some honey, sweeten up your tea.
Either way this is my conclusion. My story stays the same.
Cus that's my story and I am sticking to it. HA. Get it?
I am pretty certain it is clear.
Stay tuned for the Gridlines of love, which will help everyone to understand cyber unions, karma and relationships on a whole new level.. As for the story. You will just have to wait................
Sealed with a kiss and a little love bomb firework.