The Okay-ness of Bad Moods
Are you positive-obsessed?
I am sorry for you if you are. Let's talk about the positive and negative effects of being positive-obsessed. There is a tonne of positive hype right now, and of course this is a VERY good thing. Life loves you when you are a positive-obsessed person, which is great because your attitude helps you to attract everything you intend, including amazing clients, brilliant opportunities, fabulous friendships, fun experiences, great health and a constant stream of abundance.
When we train ourselves to always look for the good in everything, we are handed a golden shovel to dig deep through all the layers of chunky, earth stuff, and deep enough down where sometimes the proverbial crap is hidden. Myself? I try to surround myself with people that also love to focus on the positive, and who don't see limits but overcome the perception of them. Just as I teach others to see past the horizon, I remind myself to do the same. I am profoundly grateful for having the gift of psychic seeing and the ability to speak to the dead, loved ones who are perfectly peaceful and having a good old time on the other side. Ghosts are another story: often elements of who we were in the past, they actually do haunt us, and this can definitely trigger some wild and crazy moods.
Tuning in to all of this is helpful for gaining some understanding of what is in process for your current evolution. I love this gift that gives me daily opportunities to rehearse for what comes next. What do I mean by that? Well, the dead are not dead. They are quite alive. You too are profoundly psychic. You just need to exercise your muscles. Or more importantly, relax them.
The psychic realm is one of many: imagine layers of light, or layers of oil and vinegar with the hovering spices in a salad dressing; or visualize the layers of the earth. You would see that this is a pattern which repeats itself through all of nature. The psychic realm is like a layer in the system. Above our heads is a conscious field, acting as a transmitter, like a radio station that conducts information. Some refer to this information as an idea, coming through a thought or brainstorm. This is true, but do you ever ask where these thoughts and ideas come from? What is it that guides us? How does a psychic like me, or a natural intuitive like you, "tap in" to information, as if from out of nowhere?
This information can guide us to whatever is needed, and can point to where we can be of service, and gives us an ability to assist others in determining their path, their purpose, and their issues. We can help seal past hurts, relieve pains, and clear unnecessary worry.
I know, and without a doubt, that out there is a potential future that we all have access to, and that yes, some things are written in stone and others not. You could go to thirty psychics if you wanted to, and I would guarantee that they would all at least get some common thread that would point to a similar message. This is because, firstly, we all have the same path to some degree (I will speak of this later), and secondly, there is a determined core path, but with an endless series of veins in the leaf of life, and these merge into various potentials (in other words, we have a destiny path but at the same time we create the future as we go). So this "potential" reality is obviously somewhat determined already but also continuously creating itself.
So are you in charge of your destiny? Yes, to a varying degree. Beyond the psychic realm, you tap into endless possibility. Creational source, infinite potential. This is the juice you want. I like to use creational source, as apposed to God, since God tells me the energy of creation is very very misunderstood. We are all aspects of source, and therefore all aspects of God. Problem is, we have forgotten that we are creational substance in physical form. We cannot name or squish source energy by imagining source as a human, although we are part of that source, we are not in our full potential. So yea....it hurts a little bit to be all stuffed in a meat skeleton, in a pattern of potential and changeable events. Feeling separate, or apart from the universal energy which creates itself. Life's dance is a series of layers.
I am going to give you an example here of how some life time events are determined and unchangeable, as well as an example of how choices are a determining factor to creating with an intention. Then I have been guided to discuss resistance, because resistance to anything absolutely sucks, which is why you may eventually decide to do your best, and to stop doing it.
I am sharp shooting here, so take a deep breath and join me in a journey into source...
When I was nineteen I had a knowing. It was a deep knowing that I was going to go through something very difficult; no one had told me of this nor did I know how I knew it, I just did. Then, I fell in love with a criminal, moved out of my parents' house, and became pregnant. This was likely not the best of timing, considering I was graduating from high school and writing final exams. And, given I was told that I may not be able to have children, I was deliberately testing the medical conclusion, and so I "accidentally" proved those conclusions wrong. After a whole lot of throwing-up, combined with a very stressful pregnancy, my water broke at four months; this was a very sad thing to have happen, way too early. I was told that the growing fetus would naturally abort itself with in a day or two, which was obviously even worse news.
Two months later, the doctors were calling my unborn baby a miracle baby because he was thriving in my womb with only tiny pockets of amniotic fluid swirling around. When he was born three months premature, he actually had the lung development possible to create a loud cry, and the nurses were shocked. I was not shocked, because for the whole time I was pregnant, I was talking to a soul. The soul that I knew was going to be born. I did not know how I knew that either. I just did. When I was told that my baby would naturally abort itself, even then, I knew it was not true.
After weekly ultrasounds, and being told I was high-risk, I was asked if I wanted to choose a late abortion. Despite the risks to the baby anyway, I just couldn't go down this path. After weighing the decision, I had to surrender to an outcome that I could not control. My thought process was in a form of an unintended prayer, "I will let whatever is supposed to happen, happen." Obviously, the situation was too emotional for me to make the call; I did feel that it was out of my hands. Six months to that day, I learned that some things are actually in precise order. Even when we do have choices.
I found myself being pushed through the hallways of the hospital, through the swinging doors, fresh out of surgery. I was in great pain; I had just been sliced in half, at least that is what it felt like. That did not seem to matter for some reason; I just wanted to see him. A sense of deep relief allowed me to forget about myself for the first time ever. I noticed little baby foot prints etched in the ceiling, leading me into the Intensive Care Unit where all the little premature bodies were being supported on life's precious requirement, oxygen. It was a most profound experience to see these wise souls fighting to participate in the Earth scene. Arriving at the incubator to see my tiny little bruised baby was both devastating and hopeful. Clearly he was a fighter; he had made it this far. A quick visit gave me the time to telepathically give him permission to let go, if the fight was too painful. Within minutes I noticed for the first time how exhausted I was, and as I looked out the window of my hospital bed I nodded off.
I floated in light pink mist, down the neo-natal ICU corridors. Everything was surreal and painless now, and clearly I was being transported. I found myself observing everything exactly the same way, like the little foot prints on the ceiling, every detail repeated, only there were no doors, I simply floated, as if being completely supported. Arriving beside the incubator again, this time I looked inside to see my baby, perfectly tiny, with no wires or tubes, and no bruises. His skin looked golden, each cell was obviously healthy, luminous even. Almost transparent, I looked into his eyes, which were now open. I found myself floating into them, through a very intense blue, only this blue was not a colour but a sensation so profound there are no words to explain what it felt like. I suddenly knew I was out of my body, floating between here and there, within a nebula of energy, on the outside of a cosmic vortex, emerged in silent harmony. I knew this soul well, because we had been talking for a while, and he had come to take me somewhere where he was - just beyond Earth, within a feeling of vast, open, painless, bright energy, nothing but pure and intense love and understanding. No dialogue was needed, we spoke in silence, enveloped by an energy of complete okay-ness. One requirement: love.
"Mom," he communicated in a warm inward voice, "I am not meant to come in yet. You have too much to do here." This was a gentle reassurance I could not forget. Suddenly there was a knowing, an understanding, a recognition that was completely okay. I knew it, he did in fact have to go, and wherever he was going was amazing, I could sense a portal, similar to a vacuum of energy, beyond this floating bliss, an exit to a place that was so purely non-physical. I knew I was there swirling around him, at the edge, the edge of expansion.
I woke up.
There was a nurse beside me, and I could hear her thoughts as clearly as if she had said them, yet her lips had not moved.
"How will I tell her? She is so young…." The nurse hesitated to speak. My eyes opened, and I noticed again the pain in my abdomen, yet my heart was peaceful and warm. I looked at the nurse, deeply into her eyes with a gentle smile. "It's okay," I said to her, "I already know."
Less than twelve hours later, I held my baby in my arms, and I watched a miracle happen. I watched how a spirit leaves a body, I watched how a spirit impacts a soul, and I watched how love of an unknown soul can change a room. I watched how divinity is something we all know, and that Earth is a little bit painful. The beyond is something you can't possibly describe, an energy so vast, so peaceful, so light, and yet so intense. Everyone in the room felt this, everyone was changed by it somehow. Spirit doesn't go anywhere, it dances around us with free flow, unseen by most.
I knew that beyond the pain of loss was something more powerful and incredibly peaceful, an endless ecstasy that we all go back to eventually. The energy in the physical plain is a sense of joy and happiness. We feel this in spurts when we come into alignment with a divine plan, and we follow without resistance. When information streams in as an idea, and it rolls through on four wheels, translating into an experience, we come closer to this place. It feels great here, when life is full of wonder, excitement, and action, all born of expansion and grounded in the physical. This is a layer which some call divinity, a layer closer to source, closer to truth, closer to harmony. We get tastes of it here and there through our senses, then we are triggered by a million potential realities, governed by free will's choice.
Then you wonder why sometimes you have a bad day? A bad week? Or a bout of depression? Well, yeah, when you move away from source it is depressing! Why do we resist that? That ease? That sense that calls us to participate in happiness? Of course we know that feeling good is better, that we came here to remember we have the ability and potential to feel good. Here is the deal, the raw deal that does not feel so positive all the time, so chillax on being obsessed.
Life events are a repetition of past memory encoded within Earth. You agreed to forget, to become dense and contained, and you find yourself in a bad mood because something here feels off. You are dancing with an old element, a portion of time called suffering, reliving an old aspect as a pattern that will keep playing if you give in - a pattern that lives in a layer of resistance. The truth is that you, me and everyone else put on this planet is looking for source energy. Now do keep in mind that we are headed back into that place, the core of expansion. Earth has a path, just like her inhabitants. Earth has layers - some are slick and sticky, some thick and tar like, some are watery and others are fiery, and some are mushy and some are very hard to drill through. Yet in our human intent for security, we are digging it all up aren't we? Yup, looking for energy in all the wrong places. A little bolt in the honey? See how the ping-pong ball floats? How do we swim through gravity and substance?
You know what is happening? Earth is on a detox cleanse - have you noticed? We are all having to go through emotional changes, clearing in ways that feel slightly more peaceful than our often repeated history. We are all in it together, so although your path is unique, don't fool yourself, you are not special. Earth is being pulled back into source, through this same portal that souls go through once they have gone through the layers. Just like when I became pregnant, I knew I was supposed to go through something difficult, and I did. Ultimately it was the process of life and death that made me understand life. Sure, an extreme sadness accompanied a long grieving process, but truthfully, on a deeper level, it never felt like it was a loss. What hurt was the emptiness I felt returning from this energy field back into the pain of the physical body. Wherever I had been was just a small taste of what exists beyond Earth. This complete sense of elation was not a drug in my body, it was a frequency I plugged into, one that has continuously fuelled me for the last fifteen years. And so it turns out, I did have a lot to do! I was fuelled with awesome! The source of divine gas, that I can access, and so can you!
This is one of many profound experiences that changed my life. It was the true shaker for me, clearly demonstrating an endless border between life and death. The density here is a physicality that comes with pain, with loss, with suffering, and with the tragedies of the human experience created in this realm. I do know, more than anything, that yes, there is another dimension, another field, and that the psychic realm is only one layer of information, one layer of many layers that some of us can sense more than others. I also know that being in this light, even if just for a second is the place were where we cross over. This feeling has given me the ability to profoundly sense the one underlying emotion we all seek: love. People have told me I am heavenly; I say it is because I have sensed heaven. I tell other people that they too are heavenly - some seem closer than others.
We all have layers, some are light and fluffy, some are dense and burdened. We all need to be lifted, and we are all looking for that lift.
I guess this sharing is coming full circle because I intended to write about being in a bad mood, but suddenly my hands took me somewhere unexpected and I went back into my heart. This is about remembering a place for feeling good, that even though I was in so much pain, I was shown an energy I could feel and access whenever I needed to. This is the energy we will all go back into at some point, and an energy that our whole planet is moving into. There is a quantum field that is bringing us closer to centre. If you can imagine earth as a spaceship covered in planetary debris, and we were the ones driving toward this core, you could understand that you are part of something major happening. You could understand the importance of keeping up to speed with this energy, rather than resisting it. You are never expected to be "up" all the time; it is not possible yet. You're in a bad mood? THAT is completely okay. YOU are a spiritual being, experiencing life as a physical, emotional being, and possibly you are feeling sad about this or that circumstance, even if you can't pin what it is exactly. Perhaps there is just something off. Well, maybe your whole sun is eclipsing, with the moon in passing as well. Ha! You think you got it all figured out?
What we know is just one blade of grass in a whole meadow of what we don't know.
So you're in a bad mood too? Chill out. Call it galactic weather. If you're on the ship, damn straight you will feel some turbulence! Find your co-ordinates and land on your heart's path. Every single one of us has layered experiences. A common path of ups and downs, which we call life events, is the turbulence that comes with flying the ship.
The source of light is closer than ever, and I will tell you, we are only getting closer - that is the way we are headed. So when you feel up, man, are you up! You feel amazing, vibrant, full of hope, joy, excitement, change, alchemy, and then, too suddenly, the physical density reminds you where you are, mired in another layer so that you feel a little sad, a little homesick for this energy you fundamentally know so well. You attract people that get it. You vibe with those who also know. And you, because opposites attract, attract something opposite - a force that seems a little heavier, so that you think it pulls you down. NO! It is not true. Nothing can pull you down. You are not sad - you are feeling sad. You are not angry - you are feeling angry. You are not staying still - you are moving, shifting, changing, re-organizing, re-evaluating, questioning, living, and then again, questioning existence. You are acting crazy - but you are not crazy. Love is real, and you are remembering this. Therefore you are creating it, even from a place of seemingly dense energy that feels negative, you are creating a vibrational opposite. You are feeling detached from this source energy because you sense that some people aren't able to feel it. So it feels really crummy, because when you are high, you are high. Welcome to Earth, sweetheart, and be present in your bad mood - it won't last forever.
The fact is we don't know the outcomes all the time. Every single event is part of a plan - did you plan it? We are not supposed to and we can't control some events, yes what is meant to be will be and what is hurting you is a result of resistance, 100% of the time. When we try too hard we suffer. Simply put, anytime you suffer it is because you are saying no to love. You do this because you have an old program in your brain, one associated with a fear of losing something, being hurt, being left, being vulnerable, but do you really think you came here to resist the very thing you seek? Why do you do that? Wouldn't you just rather jump into the experience and allow whatever comes to come? It might be way better than you could ever imagine, or it could go really badly. You don't know. Passion for life is the fuel to experience living, and when you raise your hand up to say no to the experience you came to live, well, you may as well be a ghost. Sure, there are some things in your path that are dense, so be present in density. Then, when you are ready to float up, you will be amongst new layers again. When that happens, be fully there. If it feels good, do it. If it doesn't, don't. It could really be that simple. It really could. Or, there is a small chance that I have no idea what I am talking about, and that this bad mood could also be that you just need more vitamins :)
This is just one layer of visible light, one of many realms. Beyond? It's a whole other place, very close to you, very accessible to you. Let it pass, because it will. Let it be the total eclipse of the heart.
Dance with cosmic potential. You cannot lose. There is no such thing. Some things? You just know.
Intuitive word play: look at the word planet...
PLAN it? Plan net? Perhaps a plan, in a net? Just a little food for thought.
Well, that feels much better, I sense.
Stay tuned for insights, the Marvel of shifting emotion into truth, to resonate higher.
ALRIGHT! So a little note before hitting the publish button:
Go back three months:
"You really should call this healer, she is doing amazing work"
I put it off. I wasn't ready. Stuck in a spiral that seemed like a toilet bowl flushing, but not actually flushing fully.
I find myself in San Francisco a few weeks ago. There are so many ghosts in SFO. Holy man! Yea I kinda had to meet a few of them and let them show me a better way. I needed a nudge from a dear old wizard friend, but mostly I needed to make a call. The right call, that I knew would change my life.
I am glad I did. I swam through a layer of gravity and came out looking pretty new, pretty fresh and no longer in that layer!
I guess I have fins for a reason. Flip flip flip! Stay tuned for the juicy juice!
Have an absolutely beautiful day! If not. Go easy. Be loved.
A human apprentice. Doing it easier this time.